Ministry Burnout: The Red Flags
MINISTRY BURNOUT: THE RED FLAGS
If someone had asked you five years ago today, “What do you think you would be doing in 2020?” I will bet no one answered that they would be forced out of their church building and into the world of online church worship leadership. No one could have foreseen that church pastors would be providing end-life pastoral care through a smart phone a safe distance away from a person dying of a pandemic disease. We could not have predicted the effect of political unrest from four years that seemed to bring out the worst in many people.
Church leaders always stress out over finances and lack of volunteers, over the direction of their youth and faith formation programs, and over worship attendance. When a pastor retires, resigns his or her post, is terminated by the church board or dies while serving in a ministry, disruption always follows, yet often this is a good thing for both the church and the pastor whose time has come to move on.
Recent studies conducted by the Wisconsin Council of Churches suggests that in this pandemic time, as many as 25% of pastors serving churches will walk away from their calls, burned out and unable to wear the yoke of church ministry any longer. (www.wichurches.org: COVID-19 Ministry Stressors Survey Results, July 2020). Their conclusions and questions after surveying 434 clergy in 17 mainline denominations were:
“ If we do not attend to changes in our ministry models, we risk a profound leadership crisis. How can we best: (1) support local churches in focusing ministries to meet the deepest need, rather than replicating the church’s worship and program online (2) foster regular collaboration between parish clergy so they are less isolated (3) offer clergy and their families generous community- wide care so rest and respite are not seen as a deficiency (4) open up permission -giving ministry space in partnership with the Holy Spirit, and (5) further develop ecumenical networks to strengthen us all for ministry in a volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous time?”
Church lay leaders are feeling the strain as well. Unsure how to support their stressed-out pastors, they either over function or withdraw from partnership ministry with their church pastor(s), not knowing how to help and not understanding why the minister is exhibiting symptoms of mental, emotional and physical exhaustion. The result for the lay leader can also be burnout. The result is that terms of office are cut short, lay leaders throw up their hands and long for the days they were “just one of the congregants,” and some leave their churches altogether, feeling lost, unappreciated, and unempowered to fix that which is clearly broken but that does not come with an owner’s manual section on troubleshooting.
Burnout Flows from Unmet Demands
Burnout stems from the perceived demands of ministry that clergy cannot meet on a sustained basis. They manifest in anxious systems to cause pastors and other ministers to reach crisis. These demands on clergy persons come in three forms:
1. Demands that the position places on them;
Let’s face it: despite misperceptions that our jobs are easier now because we work primarily from home, the pandemic has placed stressors on ministers and lay leaders never before experienced. In the space of one or two weeks, we had to completely switch gears from in-person worship with its well-worn paths, to online. Most of us only had a cursory working knowledge of Zoom, Facebook and UTube, if at all. I knew how to host a meeting on Zoom, but I sure didn’t know the ins and outs of how it works! Screen sharing, virtual backgrounds, audio and visual settings—all these before were always just set on automatic; I had no clue how variations would make videos clearer, how sound could be improved or distorted, and how to access shared material from the desktop. The demands of the position both changed and intensified and there has been precious little letup in the nine months since March 1st.
2. Demands people place on them; and
Have you noticed that parishioners have become more demanding in certain areas of ministry? They are quick to criticize how the worship service sounded. They want to talk far longer on the telephone. Before the pandemic shutdowns, I could make 10 pastoral phone calls in an hour, check-ins to let them know I was thinking about them. Now, I can make 2 or 3 tops, a reality that adds frustration and diminishes the feeling of accomplishment. And then there’s the endless emails or texts asking, “What’s the zoom code again? I can’t find it.” And “I can’t get in to the meeting-Zoom won’t connect.” That take time away from other administrative work needing to be done.
3. Demands they place on themselves.
You know this is true: we are far harder on ourselves than anyone is on us. I was complaining just the other day, bemoaning that I feel less like a pastor nowadays and more like an entertainer. When my longest-time parishioner died just a few days ago, I wept for him and I wept because I felt I had let him down by not being there with him as he slipped away. I haven’t been able to see or talk to him since February, as his senior living center was in lockdown that whole time and he disconnected his phone because “the blasted thing doesn’t work anymore!” There was nothing I could have done, I know, but that didn’t make it any easier for me to let myself off the hook.
The Red Flags of Burnout
The red flags that a ministry leader is approaching burnout can be seen in physical, emotional/spiritual, and relational symptoms. Let’s look at each of these in turn:
1. Physical Signs
a. Insomnia
b. Exhaustion
c. Unusual weight changes
d. Physical ailments—type and frequency
e. Muscle fatigue
f. Poor hygiene and lack of attention to appearance
Example: Joseph has been missing worship design sessions of late, claiming that he didn’t sleep well the night before, that his back was giving out, or that he needed to “take care of some stuff—sorry.” When he appears on Zoom, it’s clear that he is in his pajamas and he hasn’t taken a shower or shaved. Others remark that Joseph, “just doesn’t seem to care anymore how he comes off to others or about his work.”
2. Emotional/Spiritual Signs
a. Unusual, prolonged sadness or depression
b. Unusual, prolonged anxiety
c. Thoughts of self-harm
d. Checking out-not meeting commitments
e. Lack of interest in things that used to be life giving
f. Wanting to quit or escape
g. Anger at God
Example: Shelia sat at her kitchen table with her head in her hands. it was 9:00 in the morning, and her half-drunk scotch and soda glass reminded her that her drinking behavior had gotten out of control. She didn’t care. “Maybe it would be best if I just didn’t wake up tomorrow,” she wondered out loud. She made the decision to call in sick, to call off her online meetings and make up an excuse about working late into the previous night on her sermon. In reality, she had not even started it. She just wanted to crawl back into bed and have a drink or two to help her sleep the day away.
3. Relational Signs
a. Disruptions in primary relationships
b. Unresolved difficulties with co-workers and/or congregants
c. Blaming others & unresolved frustration
d. Loss of meaningful connection with primary ministry & prayer life
e. Withdrawal from human contact
f. Unhealthy self-soothing behaviors
Example: Redondo was known for having an explosive personality, but he and his Spiritual Director had been working on the issue. Tuesday he came into the church office already upset over an issue he had at home with his spouse. Redondo took it out on the church administrative assistant, and to put an exclamation point on his distress, he threw his partially full coffee cup at the wall in his office. The assistant left the building, called the church President, and refused to return to work if Redondo was going to be there. When confronted by the personnel chairperson, Redondo blamed his conduct on burnout—too many hours, too many projects, too many demands, and not enough rest and recuperation time. Though not proud of his conduct, he attempted to justify it by blaming his musicians for “not having their act together.” Redondo admitted that he had been watching adult videos and just wanted “to escape into fantasy to get away from his miserable life” for a while.
Burnout that is not addressed, named and treated can lead to:
a. Unhealthy & inappropriate relationships
b. Ethical violations
c. Addictive behavior
d. Criminal behavior
e. An inability to function in your role in healthy ways
f. Physical and Emotional Paralysis
Example: Stacy started shoplifting when she needed a break from being responsible. since the pandemic, the entire Faith Formation program had been dumped in her lap, a burden she did not request nor want. “this isn’t what I ws trained for in seminary,” she protested. “I want to preach. I want to lead Adult Education classes. Heck, if the truth be told, I want my own church!” Always a rule-follower, Stacy started breaking the rules. She stayed out late on Saturday nights, drinking and engaging in reckless flirting. She drank nearly almost every day to medicate her feelings. She quit talking with her parents, because they always had an uncanny knack for seeing right through her defenses, and she didn’t want to be confronted by them. She lied and told them she was too busy to talk with them. And, she started shoplifting. She took small items at first—a back of gum or a pencil eraser (whatever for??). Then she graduated to beer bottles and candy bars stuffed into her purse at the back of the store, clothing put on under her outerwear, and electronic items she could stuff in her pockets. When at last she was caught, she was embarrassed, but she lied to the police about her drinking, her shoplifting, and her vocation.
The appearance of burnout is not always fatal to the pastorate or lay leader function. It is a serious condition that can have far-reaching, harmful consequences for pastors and victims alike, but healthy self-care and early intervention has the capacity to reverse burnout, realign demands and priorities, and set waypoints for healthy ministries going forward. You don’t have to suffer through burnout on your own; resources are available for the asking.
(See my blog on Self-Care, coming soon!)
Be well. Take good care of yourselves so you can take good care of your parishioners and your responsibilities.